We don’t know the outcome of the today’s voting but it matters not, we are predicting the future. It’s something we are really good at. We predicted all the things that have happened and you can’t prove different because we did. We know exactly how it will play out in the homes of vapers. More or less.
Everybody that isn’t a teenager knows that the best things in life existed in a time before they became a drain on the combined parental income. We sought out an expert and found a man drinking Buckfast in the park. “It’s true,” he said while using a tree as a public convenience, “retro chic is driven by adults seeking to relive the carefree days of no responsibility.”
For far too long vapers have had to suffer the fraught and flawed process of trading their previously loved devices online. Stealthvape are prepared to step into the breach once more – and plan on launching the greatest online vaping experience since two blokes thought people would like to see them mumbling and sharing in-jokes.
Like the drunken girl pouring herself into a late-night town centre taxi, like the washed-up Z-list celebrity you barely recognise talking about his love life in a gossip magazine, we are revealing more. Yes, we are revealing more than a fat builder bending over in a pair of loose-fitting jeans.
It is with sadness that we inform you that Lord Callanan has withdrawn his intention to pursue the debate next week. It means the vote on the fatal motion will not go ahead. We would like to thank all of our customers who signed with the petition and engaged with their local & national politicians.
It was a rough evening in the Kirkham household. The comment about the culinary quality of the evening meal had been met with the kind of welcome usually reserved for the arrival of sex offenders at prison. The miserable teatime was full of frost and barbed comment. But the food-based passive aggression would soon end. Mrs Kirkham was going to a vape meet.
This tale is about a man we will call John. That isn’t his real name, he’s actually called Dave but there are so many of them it could be anybody. John is a unique name befitting a vaping saga with a salient point. The point being that it could be any of us. But it isn’t. It’s about Dave. Err, John.
It was a day like any other in the offices of British Deathsticks Incorporated (BDI). Sven was looking at graphs depicting the profits from misery, Aneka played with the bundles of cash strewn all over the canteen and Rashid was constructing a infogram depicting how many small companies they’d crushed with legal action that month.
It is with sadness and a sense of loss that we welcomed the news of Mark Drakeford’s passing (as the Minister for Stupid Ideas and Silly Grins). We are sure we are not alone when we say that we’ll miss his frequent comments. Welsh politics will be all the poorer for his sideways move so we have come up with some suggestions for his party to consider.
‘They’ say that it’s darkest just before dawn although this is clearly nonsense otherwise the birds wouldn’t know when to begin making a din. But it all seemed a bit bleak for vaping, and then got bleaker with the Tobacco Products Directive coming into effect today. But ‘they’ also say that it’s not over until a plus-sized lady starts flexing her vocal muscles. We have been given an opportunity.