It’s probably no secret now that the vaping world is set to change dramatically in the UK. If this comes as news to you then I ought to point out that WWII ended successfully, Coventry have won an FA Cup and I’d try to avoid discovering how much petrol costs per gallon. Yes, vaping is soon to be not as we knew it.
They say you should never go back, they say that. They say that about many things. They say it because they believe you only remember the best aspects about whatever it was and have forgotten the aspects that drove you up the wall. They are probably well meaning.
The rain formed grey lines across the cityscape. Dull buildings reached up into the sky in vain attempts to touch the oppressive clouds that robbed everything of its hue. While the little people below scurried from doorways to taxis to computer screens, Vapeman looked on.
“Is it meant to be like this?” It’s the only question that would go through my mind when I took up vaping. If juice wasn’t coming out of the CE2 mouthpiece then it was flooding out of the bottom thanks mainly to an errant ill-fitting head.
“You don’t need another [insert vape gadget here],” she’s said. It’s a place that almost every single vaper has been. Fine, her understanding of vape gear is as good as her working knowledge of carburettor jetting – but she can count and the number currently runs just shy of ridiculous.
I’m no expert on most things, but if there is one thing I know for absolute certain then it’s this: when James Blunt sang: “You're beautiful. You're beautiful. You're beautiful, it's true,” he wasn’t referring to Tactical Workz’ Maraxus mechanical mod. I know how ugly that thing is because I owned three of them.
“Now I do not believe you wanted to do that,” said a Harry Enfield TV character. He was clever like that, this character. He could see what the other person was doing and identify all the things that were wrong with those things. A character that was almost as clever and funny as the thousands of people who would go to school and work the next day saying “Now I do not believe you wanted to do that.” Over and over. And over. Oh yes, the Nineties was a golden age of workplace comedy.
I’ve recently come across a court for vapers. It’s not a real court. It’s a group on a social media platform that offers to settle vaping community disputes. No police fabricating evidence but there may be men wearing wigs – I don’t judge. I can’t, I don’t have a gown. All told, it seems as palatable as having a strange person shouting abuse through my letterbox. It got me wondering if there wasn’t a better way for vapers to seek redress.
Life is nothing without failure; I used to tell this to a room of blank-faced teenagers. For some reason they failed to grasp how without Newton making mistakes we would not know that f=G*m1m2/r^2. They either failed to grasp it or were too busy wondering about when they could next nip behind some Portakabins to reply. Who’s having the last laugh now though, eh? Stupid students.
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