It is probably best if, before this article goes any further, we point out that we have not received any money, favours or benefits in kind from Big Music. No CDs, no tickets for The Proms – not even the autographs of Little Mix. Nothing. We need to point this out because there will almost certainly be some public health expert or other decrying us as shills or indulging in astroturfing.
It is incredible how inventive the human mind can be after it has spent an hour in the company of one of the world’s greatest idiots. Being confined in a room the size of a cupboard with someone who defied the odds to become the least qualified person to run a department really focuses the concentration. Focuses it on anything but what is dribbling from his mouth. And so it came to be that this article can help the entire independent vape industry.
A sad by-product of the boom in vaping is that it has attracted a bad element. Yes, it’s only a handful of wrong’uns, but they cause distress and upset to decent people. Stealthvape would like to ask for your help in tracking down one thief in particular, who took a personal iPhone that belonged to a popular member of the Van Dykes Vapes team.
Humble apologies for the headline to this blog post. We fully appreciate that in order to make a play on Easter we needed to have been doing this since the day after Bonfire Night, tying in with the five months of Cadbury’s Cream Egg adverts. Regardless, where do you vape yours – and, probably more importantly, where do you think you’ll be vaping yours in the future?
We said it first, just remember that. We called for a concerted effort on the part of British vapers to make vaping the sexiest activity this side of getting drunk and stealing flowers from a roundabout on the way home. It’s now very, very possible all thanks to the new direction taken by a leading car manufacturer.
We know what it’s like when you attempt to talk to people who don’t vape, so many of them just don’t get it. And you know what it’s like when you meet someone who does vape. It’s a summit of minds, an encounter of interests, a gathering of passions. Don’t you wish it could be like this everyday?
Not many of you will have noticed, but apparently there has been some weather happening recently. It is the kind of weather we only see on an annual basis, at this time of year, which will explain why so many thought it was a normal blustery winter day. Idiots. Not the media though, they managed to find every single thing that Storm Doris could impact upon.
Vaping is better than smoking, everybody says so. Well, all the people who aren’t shovelling stacks of pharmaceutical dollars into their bank accounts or licking cold lampposts. Public Health England (PHE) believes it so. Then the Royal College of Physicians (RCP) called it. Ninety-five percent safer, top docs said, at least ninety-five bloomin’ percent. Then The Cochrane Review rubber-stamped the PHE and the RCP reports.
What is the most annoying thing in the world? Oh, OK, yes, sure, Celebrity Big Brother is the most annoying thing in the world (if you happen to watch it). That’s not quite where we were going with this. Ignoring #CBB, Katie Hopkins, anybody talking about politics or pizzas arriving cold – what else is the most annoying thing in the world?
It’s easy at Christmas time, because if a present turns up that you don’t fancy it’s a simple trip into town on Boxing Day. One believable story later and a refund or exchange is complete. Mind you, it doesn’t work so well for in-laws. Fancy a life in leather trousers? Once ordered online, you get the chance to try to channel the spirit of Jim Morrison before exchanging them for some Chinos.