What is the most annoying thing in the world? Oh, OK, yes, sure, Celebrity Big Brother is the most annoying thing in the world (if you happen to watch it). That’s not quite where we were going with this. Ignoring #CBB, Katie Hopkins, anybody talking about politics or pizzas arriving cold – what else is the most annoying thing in the world?
It’s easy at Christmas time, because if a present turns up that you don’t fancy it’s a simple trip into town on Boxing Day. One believable story later and a refund or exchange is complete. Mind you, it doesn’t work so well for in-laws. Fancy a life in leather trousers? Once ordered online, you get the chance to try to channel the spirit of Jim Morrison before exchanging them for some Chinos.
Hands up everybody who enjoys paying tax so much that they’d like to pay even more tax in the future? Hmm, it doesn’t seem as though there are many who would qualify as tax lovers. The EU Commission is currently asking for European citizens (of which we still are) for their ideas regarding placing an extra tax on vape equipment and liquids. If you haven’t already let them know what you think then you’ll need to hurry to beat the deadline.
The evidence, according to anti-vape campaigners, just keeps piling up. They are correct, in a way, but just not how they believe. We are constantly being warned that vaping is a gateway to smoking – and that non-smokers need to be protected. Our anecdotal evidence says differently, we know it helped us quit smoking and we also know how awful cigarettes taste after having vaped for a few months. In case you get drawn into an argument, here’s what research has said about it recently.
Boom boom boom boom goes the music. The camera scans back from the doorway to the Vicarage. Who’s this coming into view? Why it’s the alcoholic who knocked on our door at four in the morning asking for food and money. And what’s he doing? He’s dancing that’s what. He’s dancing because he’s discovered how awesome Stealthvape’s Vape Insurance is.
They’re everywhere: in your shops, on your public transport and all over social media. And, what makes it worse, they all hold ridiculous opinions about vaping. “Eeeeee, my mate’s husband’s step-sister spilt some of that nicotine liquid on her toe and it burnt it all off,” they say.
January. Christmas has gone, the credit card bill arrives and it’s still dark on the way to and from work. Nothing could be more miserable than this time of year. So, phone up the credit card company and get your limit extended to barely repayable levels because Stealthvape Tours and Travel wants to whisk you away from all of this.
While this week’s articles were being compiled, consideration was given to how the immediate environment could be improved. But then the notion that Hull is 2017’s UK City of Culture came crashing into my consciousness. I wasn’t thinking about Hull, I try to as little as possible, but there it is. Makes sense I guess, seeing as the UK is hosting the International Festival of Road Works and everybody wins prizes at primary school sports day.
It is often said that in the land of the academically challenged the man with the online survey is king. By “often” we mean “never”, and by “said” we mean “something we just made up, so not said at all”. Which is why we have embarked on a quest to see if there are any research studies comparable to those floating around the vaping community. We have been successful.
It’s not unusual for us to return to the office after the Xmas holiday to discover empty cases of champagne, three vol-au-vents in the photocopier and an inbox full of demands. Ignoring the three people who forgot everybody wasn’t at work, all of the other emails wanted to know what we thought about their year ahead.