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Breathlessly, Gary burst in through the shop door. Profusely sweating, "Hide it!" managed to form itself from his mouth amidst the sharp intakes of breath. An aged hand swept a battered atomiser and juices into a pocket as Gary stumbled into a table causing the cups and water to lugubriously arch towards the empty antique cake stand. Such was life in the underground vaping scene in 2022.
I spent months with two eGo batteries and a handful of Evods. To us that sentence holds meaning, to non-vapers it simply sounds like some kind of bizarre sexual relationship. The objective of vaping at the outset was to indulge in nicotine at an acceptable balance between satisfaction and cost – the cost part being determined by and large by my wife’s ability to calculate what I spent.
Every Wednesday morning the school would make its way from the assembly hall, across the graveyard, in muted tones to the church. We filed through the impressively old arch and took up our places in the pews. Clasping whatever distraction we had managed to sneak in, we proceeded to ignore everything the Reverend Brian had to say.
If social media is anything to go by, this year’s Vapefest will be swamped with people experiencing it for the first time. Consequently, feel free to avail yourself of some insights and recommendations.
Something is not right with the world. I appreciate that the nausea and involuntary shaking is a result of yesterday's alcoholic excess, but there is still something not sitting as it should. The planet appears to have been re-ordered.
I’ve never had the inclination to indulge myself in a popularity contest. Despite not having achieved anything worthy of being considered for an online forum vote I was delighted to be excluded this year. Clint Eastwood once said “A man should know his limitations,” and mine cover anything laying beyond making a half-decent fry-up.
People of a certain age will forever link the title of this post with a top shelf naturist magazine that was either an eye-opener or a bitter disappointment depending on your personal outlook. For some reason it always struck me as an incredibly odd journal - in the way that ones about buses or tractors didn’t. I imagine that a fair number of non-vapers would look at an ecig magazine similarly perplexed manner.
Let’s go all arty, let’s contemplate design. We can ponder on the pleasant aesthetics of the curve, the Euclidean beauty of the circle and (especially exciting for 80s Blondie fans) the fundamental simplicity of parallel lines. We all want vaping gear that works but many of us are put off by a visually challenging set up.
Inertia – a reluctance to alter a given course of direction. Massive objects require more than a hanky being flapped to get them to change direction. An artic lorry needs a heavy prod to shift its trajectory. So why have my unused but comparatively lightweight mods been so hard to shift from the desk?
I was once told there were two personality types: those who do and those who don’t. This was clearly meant to be some kind of motivational lecture on behalf of frustrated teachers throughout the school, to inspire me on to greater things. It failed; I remained a disillusioned teacher.