Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today to mourn the passing of several aspects of vaping, the like of which we are unlikely to see again. They forged a communal spirit amongst us; they formed our collective thoughts and conversations. Now they leave us with cherished memories.
Advocates say one thing, anti-vape campaigners say another; one side gets angry and the others up their game as they strive to win the argument. The cycle goes on and nobody seems to be winning. What we need is common ground, a shared experience to bring us all together. So we arranged a sporting event.
It’s that time of year when supermarkets are full of plastic masks and multipacks of sweets. So, come join us. Sit down by the campfire, grab a marshmallow on a stick and listen to our tale – but be warned, it’s very scary. It’s like the new episode of The Walking Dead only without humour and sense of bonhomie.
“What are your plans, Stealthvape? How are you preparing for life in the apocalyptic 2017 TPD landscape?” Questions like this have cropped up with such a lack of frequency that it seemed like just the sort of thing we should address. So, as long as everybody promises not to nick our ideas here’s what is in the pipeline.
It has come to our attention that some juice manufacturers are playing fast and loose with their branding. They are busy emulating the design work, logos and slogans of successful cereal, confectionary and bakery companies. Our considered and definitely serious opinion is below.
There have been so many vape stories in the media over the last few weeks. And, in almost every case, they are focussing on the dangers and risks vaping poses – dangers and risks of the explosive kind. We don’t sell batteries but we know a thing or two about them so (in the hope that this article spreads a bit of safety knowledge) here is some advice.
Probably inspired by some film or other, clowns have been wreaking havoc across the United States. Now they’re scaring people witless in Britain (who’d find watching an episode of Strictly Come Ed Balls frightening in the dark). What is going on and how does it relate to vaping? We decided to investigate.
Vaping is being cast as some kind of evil that is set to ruin the lives of generations to come. It’s laughable, we all know that much. Where most see an exit, others are concerned about an entrance. While advocates have done a sterling job we thought it might be a good idea to build a broader coalition – to gain from the experiences of others.
We’re moving into the movie business.
Dear Warner Bros, no doubt you receive many, many letters every day but, before you bin this one, please note that we are offering you an incredible opportunity to make a fortune. This movie idea pitch is unlike anything else you will have been offered.
The 1970s were incredible according to folks who didn’t live through the decade. That said, there were aspects of it that still exert a strong hold over people’s affections. Most importantly, looking at the stats from recent surveys, it’s when a huge load of us began smoking.