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We Britons seem to be busier than ever, every year we are set tougher targets and higher goals than the year before. As we struggle by on a mix of luck and fudging of figures (it’s OK, you’re among friends, no one will tell), looking forward to retirement, some bright spark suggests that we should all continue working for even longer. No wonder people are shouting at each other across the lanes of the M25 and M6. We need to get happier.
“What have I done to deserve this?” sing the Pet Shop Boys as I type away. And I stumble across the tale of Helen Twelvetrees, or Helen Marie Jurgens as her family in Brooklyn named her. Twelvetrees was a successful Hollywood star for Pathé, and then as an independent, as the industry spanned itself from silent films to talkies. Helen stepped into the hole left by those actors who couldn’t or wouldn’t add their voice to their craft. She went on to help forge the ‘Women’s Films’ genre, celluloid romps into tearful dramas covering issues facing the women of the day: domestic life, the family, motherhood, self-sacrifice, and romance. Not much has changed then, eh?
But Twelvetrees hid secrets behind those eyes, eyes described as being the saddest in Hollywood. Her first husband beat her and then tried to leap to his death from a window. She was coerced into making saucy snaps to make ends meet, and who knows what else in order to get the next paying job. Her life spiralled into bleakness and misery, culminating in just two people sitting at her funeral service.
So, filled with that drab story, part one of our mission is now complete. Your life is no longer Helen Twelvetrees levels of desolate. It’s dark outside, rain is hitting your panes and the office beckons you away from the duvet’s warmth – just tell yourself, “at least I’m not being expected to cry in front of a camera because dinner is ruined”.
No, it’s time to hunt out the Vapefest website. It’s time to get your vape act together and book that weekend off as holiday and sort out somewhere to sleep. It’s time to pick up that vape and remind yourself how good that flavour is. Why? Because when you have a sense of purpose your body produces dopamine. When you are sitting chatting with friends about vaping, and feeling part of a group, your body produces oxytocin. Plus, throughout this, your brain is chucking out serotonin that regulates long-term happiness.
Vaping isn’t just a tobacco replacement product, it’s not that clinical, it’s a passport to happiness and contentment. From the aesthetic of watching a plume of donut-flavoured vape curl and twist to the hormone-delivered sense of balance and tranquillity – you can literally vape yourself happier.
The Vapefest website can be found here, it’s on from Saturday 5th August 2017 10am–10pm & Sunday 6th August 2017 10am–8pm. Last year’s photos are in the video below. Here comes the summer!