The greatest global corporations started life as a cluttered desk and a small window to the world. Tesco came into being after T. E. Stockwell sold a case of tea to Mr. Cohen. Businesses grow like families, and all families need planning, financial planning. As part of our quest to become a dominant international brand, we are delighted to announce the launch of the Bank of Stealthvape.
The world opened up to vaping in 2014. Finally, on the back of huge home market growth, vapers took centre stage in news and current affairs. More than that, ‘Vape’ was made word of the year by Oxford Dictionaries. How appropriate is it that in 2016, as vaping faces its greatest challenges in the UK and overseas, the new word of the year is ‘Post-truth’?
Like monks marching Tibetan trails, vapers seek enlightenment. They quest for the ultimate in rewarding vape experiences, a liquid to illuminate their life. They, or rather ‘you’ need the Stealthvape Tao of Vaping residential weekend.
Where does everything go when we no longer see them? Cars, bikes, computer consoles, mods and attys? Stuff that used to be a must-have item suddenly doesn’t feature in your day-to-day sphere of reference. You know that Peter Kay? He used to be on the TV. Where do they keep him now? With the Gameboys?
We are all vapers and, as our survey showed, we are almost all ex-smokers. Ninety-eight percent of those who replied stated that vaping helped them to quit smoking. And yet anti-vape campaigners still attack the products, the companies and the people who made this possible. With one billion lives on the line, we welcome the launch of a film that will define this moment in harm reduction.
Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today to mourn the passing of several aspects of vaping, the like of which we are unlikely to see again. They forged a communal spirit amongst us; they formed our collective thoughts and conversations. Now they leave us with cherished memories.
Advocates say one thing, anti-vape campaigners say another; one side gets angry and the others up their game as they strive to win the argument. The cycle goes on and nobody seems to be winning. What we need is common ground, a shared experience to bring us all together. So we arranged a sporting event.
It’s that time of year when supermarkets are full of plastic masks and multipacks of sweets. So, come join us. Sit down by the campfire, grab a marshmallow on a stick and listen to our tale – but be warned, it’s very scary. It’s like the new episode of The Walking Dead only without humour and sense of bonhomie.
“What are your plans, Stealthvape? How are you preparing for life in the apocalyptic 2017 TPD landscape?” Questions like this have cropped up with such a lack of frequency that it seemed like just the sort of thing we should address. So, as long as everybody promises not to nick our ideas here’s what is in the pipeline.
It has come to our attention that some juice manufacturers are playing fast and loose with their branding. They are busy emulating the design work, logos and slogans of successful cereal, confectionary and bakery companies. Our considered and definitely serious opinion is below.