â€œOh, you canâ€™t vape there,â€ they say. Then, when you move to somewhere else for a quick puff, you wonâ€™t be able to vape over there either. Sort yourselves out, public health experts, we say. But they wonâ€™t. You know it, we know it, everybody knows it. And thatâ€™s where our genius idea comes into play.
We spent valuable time away from playing Fallout 4 to discover if anybody has ownership of space â€“ and it turns out they donâ€™t. Consequently, nobody can tell you what or where you can or canâ€™t vape in space. You want to vape with big clouds? Space. You want to vape while watching a film and eating pizza? Space. Itâ€™s the answer to everything.
Unfortunately no agency is currently renting out a decent space station. Surprising but true. And so we are announcing our very first fundraising page for the Stealthvape Vape Space Station project; itâ€™s a place for vapers to vape in peace â€“ after all, no one can hear you scream up there (when you burn a finger on a hot coil).
As we say on our Gofundyourself page: â€œThey can take our vape away on Earth, but they’ll never be able to stop us in space. Yes, space – you read that right. It may be full of aliens, the Borg and the Empire but we will all be able to vape freely on the Stealthvape Vape Space Station.
This Gofundyourself page is to raise the money for us to come up with a decent design, crayons are expensive. We will open a second page to cover the construction costs. Then a third to build a rocket to get us there. Then a fourth if people are stupid enough to give us money without asking any questions. Then a fifth.
Oh, yeh, it means a lot to us and stuff and thank you.â€
Some people may not like the idea of contributing to a page where they have to give us money without a guarantee of the project literally taking off. We say to them â€“ when have we ever let you down in the past? Seriously, weâ€™ve never run a Givememoneyfornothing page before so we have a 100% record of not letting people down. Plus, with our history of making space-related mods and atomisers leaves us uniquely positioned to take this project from stupid idea to glorious success.
The first round of fund raising will be used for a fact-finding tour of space centres located near to sunny beaches. It will be here that the final touches will be applied to the design. Currently we anticipate it being a cross between the space section of Westworld and the power core from Event Horizon â€“ only with fewer glitches.
Send us all of your monies so we can make one giant leap for vapekind.