Monthly Archives: October 2015

Waking Up To A Goblin


In my world things have been very simple: low ohms are stupid, high watts are stupid and anything larger than a 1.5mm hole is stupid. I’m sure that’s something we can all agree on. The trouble with this approach is that it left me feeling jaded about vaping gear. It left me cynical about this week’s new awesome juice, atomizers and mods. After a while you’ve seen it all before and you are firmly stuck in a rut of doing things your way.

There’s this hugely popular juice sitting on the desk, it’s been there for months because it simply failed to deliver on what everyone apart from me seemed to get from it. It sat on the desk that has become ever increasingly sparse as my enthusiasm for things waned. It was clearly the time to mix things up.

I was offered this Goblin thing. I didn’t want to like it from the outset despite it having a name that reminded me of a joke about oral sex. Not saying oral sex is a joke, it’s not, but being named after a 1970s bedside tea maker is. It has everything that I don’t look for in an atomizer but mainly those two cavernous air holes at the bottom. If experience has taught me anything it’s that they’d kill the flavour I seek.

Experience has taught me to pay attention to it: I no longer ride on the roof of vans, make sarcastic comments to the police or jump out of a cupboard in the dark to surprise my wife – no matter how much fun they appeared to be at the time the consequences outweighed the benefits. I’m a fan of experience, sticking my tongue into the spokes of a revolving wheel as a kid taught me not to try the same thing with a blender.

But experience has told me you sometimes have to let go of what you believe to be true so you can embrace the things in life that’d otherwise pass you by. Clicking in Paypal sent money one way and the atty into the post; an atomiser that’d been raved about by PlumeBlu as being all things to all dripper men.

So, I have the wire and the free Muji. I have the American juice I wasn’t a fan of. And I have a budget atomizer I never hankered for. Experience has told me that if my expectations are rock bottom then I can’t be disappointed. “Hope,†said Nietzsche, “in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.â€

And it’s sitting here with two 1.4Ω coils. It’s sitting here at 0.7Ω, pumped up to 22W and I’ve got a puerile grin with each exhale, waiting for a few minutes until the cloud you could hide Chinchillas in has cleared. Waiting until I can see the keyboard again. It’s a collection of moments that would have remained closed off to me had I stopped playing with how I like to do things – let’s hope we’ll be able to continue experimenting after the TPD is implemented. Meanwhile I’ll rejoice in the fact that the Goblin has woken me up.