The messianic scenes held fervour normally reserved for Bible-belt Sunday services, the home end of any football ground and late-Friday night city centre kebab shops.
When it comes to things like this I have form, I am not an early adopter by nature. It wasnâ€™t until the 3GS that I got on board the Apple bus and sucked into the notion we had to replace everything we own that works with something newer that might perform better but probably wonâ€™t.
After countless declined opportunities to see The Smiths play I realised I quite enjoyed the musicâ€¦the day after they split, stupidly late adoption. Wicks are proving to be a lot like Morrissey; there was something simple and it just worked. Then it tried to become more profound and resulted in becoming a pain in the neck.
Silica, simple silica.
Back when I had my first genny, an Aga-T2, I became perplexed and vexed with mesh. Silica was such a delight; it worked in my Evods, it worked in the T2, it worked in drippers and when I finally bit the bullet and bought a SvoÃ«fun it damn well worked in there too.
But then stuff began to get silly.
I managed to keep up with a transition from round wire to flat and even managed to work through a learning curve to build microcoils and use cottonâ€¦but what the flip is going on now? Wire with fancy names is appearing all over the shop and Iâ€™m left feeling like a Dad at a teen pop concert.
Not content with cotton thereâ€™s now rayon. Rayon? I donâ€™t care if the pleasure vaping with it rivals that of being pleasured by the entire troop of the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders â€“ itâ€™s bloody rayon. Rayon is the fabric that destroyed my eyes in the 1970s. My mother, on a saving money tip, made me a pair of garish blue shorts out of the stuff. A pair of shorts that tried harder through their tightness to emasculate me than a van-load of stereotypical militant feminists.
The very last thing I want while vaping is a head full of Chessa Davis and the fear that by vaping I may contract a serious case of flares.
I tried to build a Dragon coil, Iâ€™ve watched a video about making a Tiger coil but rayon is just a step too far for me. What is coming next? Muff, thatâ€™s what; a cotton-like wick made from the discarded pubic hair of body fascists. But why stop there â€“ we can weave Muff in with asbestos to improve durability and wicking even further so that the vape is so good the cloud transforms into a time portal.
I understand this is The Smiths and the Apple launch all over again. I just canâ€™t get my head around wanting to vape at .00003Î© but I just bet that if they ban vaping then that will be the day I really want to try it.