We did it people, it’s official – we made vaping sexy. Those with little else to do and extraordinary memories will recall that we demanded everybody make a special effort. Well you did, even if you didn’t know it. You, Auntie Gladys, Barry Onions from the bookies, you all did it. You sexy beasts, you.
Do you remember when ole whatisface started vaping at some award ceremony for Americans? How about her, that singer nobody has heard of, when she created mayhem in the States because she vape…oh, let’s face it, nobody cares. Nobody on this side of the Atlantic knows who these celebrities are or what they do. In the United Kingdom, if tabloids and TV scheduling are to be believed, we care about one thing: shallow young people fumbling and frotting with each other on a tropical island.
We need to ban vaping. No, you don’t need a herring aid. We’ve contemplated life if it carries on under the Tobacco Products Directive – and fins are serious. We’ve not been at the sauce, we aren’t pickled. Kipper lid on it for the moment, but we reckon we’ve sean … err, sea’n … no, this isn’t working, the pun machine is broke
Department of Health’s new Tobacco Control Plan “Towards a smoke-free generation” offers up something that nobody previously thought possible, a way to unite people on either side of the Brexit debate. In one short, swift sentence, the government stated that leaving the European Union will open up an opportunity for harm reduction and the reversal of restrictions placed on vape manufacturers and vendors.
Before Tom Hanks saved the lives of airline passengers, by masterfully guiding the stricken aircraft into water, he ran Disney. He’s been a cowboy, solved daft puzzles in Paris and collected special winter train tickets. Normal people don’t get to do this much stuff, but that’s because they’ve not been alive since World War II, (where Tom saved Matt Damon so he could go on to become the worst Batman ever). Thanks for that last one, Tom. Thanks a lot.
By the end of this year there will be 2.2 billion people playing video games. They will have spent £0.9 billion over the twelve months on disks and downloads. But gamers have been getting more than just some software to play with, and this has serious ramifications for vapers and tobacco harm reduction. Is vaping Doomed?
Are you new to vaping? Do you know somebody who has just started using electronic cigarettes? Like a good Dad, we want you to sit on a knee so we can talk to you about sex. No, err, not that – batteries. We want to talk about battery safety. Definitely not anything to do with sex.
In the 70s, if you were lucky, MI5 would mark you out to be something of a wrong’un and make a folder with your name on the top, with Letraset or a Dymo label maker. Men in hats would hang out near lampposts, black cars would speed off the second you approached them, and Alexei Sayle’s parents would pop round for dinner parties. That’s how people kept tabs on you in the 70s – unless you’d put a Blue Peter time capsule (all about you) in the back garden.
It was the summer of ’69, but I didn’t know anybody with a porch. “Oh, and when you held my hand – I knew that it was now or never,” sang Bryan Adams. Someone was holding my hand, it was the ambulance lady, and blood was cascading down my face. David Somebodyorother was in too much of a hurry to get out to play, Thatcher hadn’t got her act together, and my face was shoved into a crate of milk bottles.
The Tobacco Products Directive is like explaining the rules of cricket: The TPD is not the TPD, the old TPD was the TPD before it became the TPD 1. The TPD that isn’t the TPD is actually the TPD 2 because the TPD 1 came and went. Like a band’s difficult second album, TPD1 was rewritten and managed to include more scientific inaccuracies than the film 2012.