Hunting out work stuff on the web uncovers a whole host of new information. As a would-be autodidact, vaping leads out through politics and public health policies into a wonderful world of philosophy, psychology and alien spheres of science. It’s an awesome jungle of discovery. And then, just to keep it fruity, I occasionally land on something like the article I read this week. The article explaining to me that a chimpanzee’s testicles weigh more than a third of its brain.
Flavours only serve one purpose, according to public health zealots, and that is to snare children. All a child needs to do is take one whiff of a donut cloud or a plume of lemon meringue pie and BOOM they’re hooked on fags for life. Moreover, you adults are all fooling yourselves. Not our words, those are the thoughts of the world’s public health experts.
Do you remember going to see the careers guidance officer? At least that is what they were called when I was at school, I believe following continual cutbacks that the Department for Education has issued all institutions with a dartboard labelled up with all the options. Spotty hormonal teenagers now shuffle down a dank corridor, pick up a blunt set of arrows and have three opportunities to land one of the two placements in their town.
We Britons seem to be busier than ever, every year we are set tougher targets and higher goals than the year before. As we struggle by on a mix of luck and fudging of figures (it’s OK, you’re among friends, no one will tell), looking forward to retirement, some bright spark suggests that we should all continue working for even longer. No wonder people are shouting at each other across the lanes of the M25 and M6. We need to get happier.
Life is not a bowl of cherries. All too frequently, when someone directs your attention to a vape story on a newspaper website, eyes are raised to the heavens and angry words might be uttered. People acted as though they’d never seen alternative facts before the recent US Presidential election – but we’ve been reading them for years. Are we paranoid? Do papers really keep reporting nonsense? A recent scientific study has looked into this very issue.
Do you put your hand up when you cough or sneeze? Do you lay and work from outside to in with your cutlery? How about kissing when greeting, do you go for the informal double from cheek to cheek or hide in the toilet till they’ve all gone home? Us Brits seem to be preoccupied with etiquette, well a sizeable number of us anyway. Heck, somebody gives Debrett’s money to tell people how they should dress and stand at parties.
It is probably best if, before this article goes any further, we point out that we have not received any money, favours or benefits in kind from Big Music. No CDs, no tickets for The Proms – not even the autographs of Little Mix. Nothing. We need to point this out because there will almost certainly be some public health expert or other decrying us as shills or indulging in astroturfing.
We know what it’s like when you attempt to talk to people who don’t vape, so many of them just don’t get it. And you know what it’s like when you meet someone who does vape. It’s a summit of minds, an encounter of interests, a gathering of passions. Don’t you wish it could be like this everyday?
The evidence, according to anti-vape campaigners, just keeps piling up. They are correct, in a way, but just not how they believe. We are constantly being warned that vaping is a gateway to smoking – and that non-smokers need to be protected. Our anecdotal evidence says differently, we know it helped us quit smoking and we also know how awful cigarettes taste after having vaped for a few months. In case you get drawn into an argument, here’s what research has said about it recently.
What is the most annoying thing in the world? Oh, OK, yes, sure, Celebrity Big Brother is the most annoying thing in the world (if you happen to watch it). That’s not quite where we were going with this. Ignoring #CBB, Katie Hopkins, anybody talking about politics or pizzas arriving cold – what else is the most annoying thing in the world?