A Vaping Christmas


Christmas taught me a number of things including (and not exclusively) that a Disney musical can tire the patience of saints, political debates can become immensely heated when fuelled by tequila and I really don’t use gennys that much.

I love a genny, I keep saying how my Origen V2 is my favourite atomiser, but I can count the number of run-outs it had over a fortnight on one hand. Clearly, this doesn’t mean I don’t love it – but I am left wondering why I keep going back to the Kayfun-lite like film producers keep hiring Nicolas Cage.

Like Cage, the Kayfun is pretty much a one-dimensional device (albeit far more rewarding and capable of expressing a greater range of emotions). I know that some people drill theirs out or sub-ohm with them but, frankly, it’s not what it was made for. You can cast Rupert Grint in any number of other roles but he will forever remain that odd looking one who once waved a twig: It’s what he was made for. To do anything else is akin to taking Argentine footy star Lionel Messi and playing him in goal.

I began my break playing with drippers, something I’d not done for most of the year. A new juice arrived from Colonel Boom and it sang in the Igo-W+, I was truly smitten. But, rather than keeping at it in an atty that was working well I insisted on going down the easy route of filling up one of the KFLs. Why? I’ve no idea beyond my latent stupidity and laziness.

It didn’t work; notes vanished from the experience like shifting from Lou Reed to a celebrity-strewn cover of Perfect Day. Did I return to dripping? Nope.

I used put the lack of use the gennys got down to the fact that I have juices dedicated to each one – and those flavours only tend to get a run out when drinking booze. But in a fortnight where I single-handedly raised the share price in several distilleries they still didn’t see the use I’d have expected.

The Heron has joined the list of single-juice attys; the only thing it sees is Powwow Sauce. What helps it is that PWS is pretty much one of my two all-day vapes along with some heavy GVC (residing in a 3.1ES).

The realisation of what type of vaper I am took hold at the outset of a fun festive family game. A delightful coming together of competitive souls that forced me to remember something important I had to attend to in the garage.

Sheltering from the enforced frivolity, I cast a gaze on the workbench littered with woodworking tools and a host of half-finished vape stands. Some had even reached the stage of having patterns burned into the shapes. See, I love the idea of building things but my attention span runs to that of our collection of fish.

I love the idea of atomisers I can build to my requirements but have, more and more, reduced to just swapping out some cotton and burning off the coil. It’s made me realise just how much I could never be a reviewer making videos on a weekly basis. Spending my time wicking and coiling instead of starting blankly out of the window seeking inspiration is just not anything I’d like to do.

So I’m a lazy vaper. I’m a lazy vaper with an aversion to enclosed spaces packed with in-laws. So much so that I’ve found myself frequently looking at pictures of the new Kanger Subtank thinking how brilliant it would be if I could cut the tiresome cotton threading out of my life. It’s not going to happen, I’m too lazy to find out if it works or not – I’ll go see if one of the industrious video makers has looked at one.

If only I could find a similar way of replacing those related to me.