Roobarb and Custard


It makes me chuckle to see how easy people are offended in comparison to the insults that used to be traded on Usenet bulletin boards and newsgroups. That, and how feeble the insults are posted underneath Youtube videos and BitTorrent magnet links.

Ahh, I’m going all mushy remembering the days when ISPs hosted Usenet binaries.

Anyway, lists. Of all the lists I’ve added to my favourite has to be the “Things You Don’t Like†type of threads. As a person who naturally hates everything this is quite easy for me.

Stuff I’ve never liked includes things like AOL, Windows operating systems, period dramas, celery, DC comics and custard.

Custard – why? Like mosquitos, wasps, Celebrity Big Brother and chicory, what ungodly purpose does it serve being on the planet? School mealtimes always ended with an indeterminate lump of something in a bowl with jug upon metal jug of the congealed stuff sitting on tables. Before we became proper Middle Class and had brandy butter with our Xmas pud it was always destroyed by a sea of yellow muck.

Truth told, if Room 101 really existed and I was tied to a chair a tin of powdered Birds would be enough to reduce me to a gibbering wreck.

And then I took up vaping.

I held off trying some for ages, but the longer I was interacting with folks on the friendly forum the more people waffled on about GVC. As time clicked by I became convinced that either there was the most elaborate Internet hoax of all time taking place (that I was blissfully unaware of) or I needed to bite the bullet.

If I were to contribute to a thread of things I like then the first few slots would go the vaping way. I’ve found a real spirit of generosity and good spirit within the online vaping community, learnt a great deal and made some great friendships that have broken out into real life.

But, anyway, custard:

I’m no stranger to playing with words, I’ve got a reasonable vocabulary, but I’m buggered if I can put into words why I adore vaping custard so much. Plain custard, custard with banana, rhubarb and custard or tobacco & custard – it doesn’t matter, I love them all. It makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

Is it all down to the cartoon? Is it because it would take a stone-heart not to love Bernard Cribbins?

I have grown to adore it so much I asked the wife to whip up a bowl of her finest that the kids woof down in seconds. And what do you know? Yep, it remains as odious and repugnant as the sight of a politician trying to smile at normal people.

So here I sit, listening to Roxy Music typing away while tugging on a Kayfun loaded with custard from Vapertrain. And tonight, once I’ve got some Thursday beers on the go, I’ll recoil a Taifun with .28 Kanthal, 2.5mm Voodoowool and fill it with PowWow Sauce.

And the world will be as one; peace will reign…

…unless someone posts a thread asking where they can buy some GVC because then it’ll be a flame waaaaaaar!

Phreaking

Phreaking according to Wiki

Forget torrents – go Usenet

Delia’s recipe for proper custard