Life is not a bowl of cherries. All too frequently, when someone directs your attention to a vape story on a newspaper website, eyes are raised to the heavens and angry words might be uttered. People acted as though they’d never seen alternative facts before the recent US Presidential election – but we’ve been reading them for years. Are we paranoid? Do papers really keep reporting nonsense? A recent scientific study has looked into this very issue.
The evidence, according to anti-vape campaigners, just keeps piling up. They are correct, in a way, but just not how they believe. We are constantly being warned that vaping is a gateway to smoking – and that non-smokers need to be protected. Our anecdotal evidence says differently, we know it helped us quit smoking and we also know how awful cigarettes taste after having vaped for a few months. In case you get drawn into an argument, here’s what research has said about it recently.
Boom boom boom boom goes the music. The camera scans back from the doorway to the Vicarage. Who’s this coming into view? Why it’s the alcoholic who knocked on our door at four in the morning asking for food and money. And what’s he doing? He’s dancing that’s what. He’s dancing because he’s discovered how awesome Stealthvape’s Vape Insurance is.
Vaping is better than smoking, everybody says so. Well, all the people who aren’t shovelling stacks of pharmaceutical dollars into their bank accounts or licking cold lampposts. Public Health England (PHE) believes it so. Then the Royal College of Physicians (RCP) called it. Ninety-five percent safer, top docs said, at least ninety-five bloomin’ percent. Then The Cochrane Review rubber-stamped the PHE and the RCP reports.
Not many of you will have noticed, but apparently there has been some weather happening recently. It is the kind of weather we only see on an annual basis, at this time of year, which will explain why so many thought it was a normal blustery winter day. Idiots. Not the media though, they managed to find every single thing that Storm Doris could impact upon.
They’re everywhere: in your shops, on your public transport and all over social media. And, what makes it worse, they all hold ridiculous opinions about vaping. “Eeeeee, my mate’s husband’s step-sister spilt some of that nicotine liquid on her toe and it burnt it all off,” they say.
What is the most annoying thing in the world? Oh, OK, yes, sure, Celebrity Big Brother is the most annoying thing in the world (if you happen to watch it). That’s not quite where we were going with this. Ignoring #CBB, Katie Hopkins, anybody talking about politics or pizzas arriving cold – what else is the most annoying thing in the world?
January. Christmas has gone, the credit card bill arrives and it’s still dark on the way to and from work. Nothing could be more miserable than this time of year. So, phone up the credit card company and get your limit extended to barely repayable levels because Stealthvape Tours and Travel wants to whisk you away from all of this.
How are you feeling? Has the bloated sense that your stomach is set to explode lessened? Have the psychopathic urges to kill everybody entering your home subsided? Do you manage to avoid sending a close relation to the other side of the planet? In short, was it a good Christmas?
Yes, as we said before Xmas, it’s been a cracking year. Unless you were famous in the 60s, 70s or 80s for singing. Or you were famous in the 60s, 70s or 80s for playing in the band. Or starred in a much-loved film. Or were the voice for the nation on Radio 2. Or wrote brilliant books. Or did magic. Or comedy. Or played football like a god. Or punched people well. Or were a Man from UNCLE. Or were Father Jack. Apart from those (and hundreds of other examples), it was a cracking year.
