A Better Tobacco Control Plan

Department of Health’s new Tobacco Control Plan “Towards a smoke-free generation” offers up something that nobody previously thought possible, a way to unite people on either side of the Brexit debate. In one short, swift sentence, the government stated that leaving the European Union will open up an opportunity for harm reduction and the reversal of restrictions placed on vape manufacturers and vendors.

Big Is Best

Before Tom Hanks saved the lives of airline passengers, by masterfully guiding the stricken aircraft into water, he ran Disney. He’s been a cowboy, solved daft puzzles in Paris and collected special winter train tickets. Normal people don’t get to do this much stuff, but that’s because they’ve not been alive since World War II, (where Tom saved Matt Damon so he could go on to become the worst Batman ever). Thanks for that last one, Tom. Thanks a lot.

Vape Island

Do you remember when ole whatisface started vaping at some award ceremony for Americans? How about her, that singer nobody has heard of, when she created mayhem in the States because she vape…oh, let’s face it, nobody cares. Nobody on this side of the Atlantic knows who these celebrities are or what they do. In the United Kingdom, if tabloids and TV scheduling are to be believed, we care about one thing: shallow young people fumbling and frotting with each other on a tropical island.

Stitches

It was the summer of ’69, but I didn’t know anybody with a porch. “Oh, and when you held my hand – I knew that it was now or never,” sang Bryan Adams. Someone was holding my hand, it was the ambulance lady, and blood was cascading down my face. David Somebodyorother was in too much of a hurry to get out to play, Thatcher hadn’t got her act together, and my face was shoved into a crate of milk bottles.