Tag Archives: e-cigarette

Choices, choices, choices

 

In fact, we’re seeing an unprecedented deluge of mods and atomisers from that part of the world with new models being announced on an almost weekly basis. And this is a problem. Well, to you this might not be a problem. To you problems might be what kind of curry to order tonight, whether to go with wine or beer and the fact that the postman still hasn’t delivered your vapemail.

In life I have three main problems: firstly, now the weather is nice I have the doors of the lounge open while I work. No problem there, you say. Now factor in the neighbours who shout a lot, have screaming children they swear at and possess the worst combined selection of music any person could have inflicted upon them. Odds are that you have or had neighbours like this or, if you are my neighbours, turn the damn tripe down.

My second problem is quite a challenging one – I own fourteen mods. No man or woman can possibly use all fourteen at once, not even in rotation. But the constant updates on websites make it impossible not to buy more. I’m currently waiting for my invoice from Mikro Engineering for my Challenger Mk.II – that’ll make it fifteen. To be honest, this isn’t the real problem it’s what it leads to.

It creates problem number three. It is the one thing that vexes me most about vaping. I’ve got a toolbox; in the top compartments I store my charged batteries and my drip tips. On the wooden rack I built from part of my daughter’s ex-bed sit my range of attys. So the issue is that at any given moment I have to choose one from fourteen mods, one of three different battery sizes, one from fourteen attys, one from thirty drip tips and one from twenty four flavours.

That’s 423,360 possible combinations.

Four hundred and twenty-three thousand three hundred and sixty possible vape combinations! This ridiculous array of options for a man who struggles to decide whether to have a Jal Frezi or a Madras. When standing in the drinks aisle I can never decide between imported or home-brewed beer. This is the first time I’ve ever looked at this as a number, frankly I’m stunned.

But this problem doesn’t sit there, there’s the option of whether to go for Voodoowool, cotton, mesh, A1 Kanthal wire (which diameter?), ribbon (which width?), number of wraps, what resistance I think I might fancy and if to opt for single or dual wicks.

And then there are aesthetic considerations. For example, there is no way you could get away with a blue drip tip on a tarnished brass Kraken sitting proudly on a red aluminium Nemesis tube with a polished stainless switch & stealth cap and a polished brass lock ring. One minute you’re constructing a set-up to vape with, the next you’re looking at something as gaudy as a house covered in Xmas lights

I probably spend more time pondering whether or not the combination goes together than I do wicking and vaping the thing.

Life was so much easier when all I had was a Vamo and a Protank. I need a 21st Century Kepler to plan out a simple law of mod selection; either that, or a 21st Century Brahe to threaten to run me through with a sword if I don’t make my choice in 60 seconds flat.

I haven’t even touched upon the time spent online window-shopping.

 

The Internet Vaping Community

Warning signs for me is if there is a ‘sticky’ greeting me, telling me not to spam the forum. This aim of such a message is to let you know this group is serious and takes the stuff within even more seriously; that the Internet is serious business.

I can almost guarantee that within three posts of almost all of them I will see at least one reference to a certain large vendor based in Hong Kong. That’s the point I pull the ‘Leave’ button. I’m not making a value judgement here; people do what they want with their money. It has got to the point where not even Let Me Google That For You can raise a smile on my face.

But then you have Facebook groups like Coil. And, given the website you are reading this on, Stealthvape being a home to lovers of wire; I’ll wager you’d find it fascinating too.

Coil causes me a problem. Firstly they have the spam message and secondly they let me join. I have a Groucho Marx philosophy towards places that entertain my presence.

I’ve remained a member simply because whenever I feel I am engaging in something utterly pointless I can go into it and watch people doing things with wire which, to someone like my wife, are devoid of any purpose whatsoever.

The artist in me finds the time spent bending wire into incredible shapes so wholly engaging, entirely beautiful and altogether pointless. It’s glorious.

We all start vaping from roughly the same point and we rapidly understand that there is a better vape to be had out there. Like the people who scour the lives of the rich and famous in Hello magazine, we know there is better than the vape we currently have – something more akin to that draw on a post-coital cigarette.

But FB Coil Porn arrives at that point, drives past it, sticks its arse out of the window while questioning your parentage and telling you that you have stupid hair.

This is the quest for the perfect vape taken to extremes. This is the film ‘Perfect Storm’ starring George Clooney with Mark Wahlberg… only they are in a boat made of Caesium with ten Godzillas and it’s raining knives while being infected with necrotizing fasciitis.

Absolutely bonkers.

The thing is Facebook is more than that for vapers. We feel compelled to take pictures of our mods and attys. We take these pictures and share them with the world. We take them placed in funny places, we record videos of us using them and we display our vaping-related injuries like badges of pride.

Given that half of the pictures I see on a weekend have a vaping device placed next to a can or a beer glass it is no surprise that these injuries keep cropping up.

I like football and am a member of a couple of club forums but nothing like this exists in this sphere. Sure, there are those who will post up from time to time how many grounds they’ve been to – but they don’t come accompanied with pictures of extreme spectating.

  • Look! Here’s a picture of me watching the match upside down – the whole 90 minutes!”
  • That’s nothing – here’s a picture of me standing on one leg for the whole game

And football fans just don’t ask the same questions online either.

  • Guys, do you know if I can get in to see City play by buying my ticket from HongKongFooty.com?”
  • Hello, I’m new here, I just wondered what football team you people would recommend I follow? I tried supporting Coventry but found it a bit boring and not exciting enough for me. Ta

As vapers we seem to be an utter league apart from most normal folks. Online forums are the same, threads dedicated to coil builds and what’s underneath the cap.

In my entire time on football forums I’ve never seen one single thread asking if anybody plays football or watches it while going to the toilet!

Vooping?

Really?!

Anyway, enough of this, I am compelled to show you a picture of my build on my dual-wick Vicious Ant Kraken using 0.3mm Stealthvape Kanthal A1 wire 😀